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How We Develop Self-Confidence

 | 4 Comments  | Health


Guest post by Dr. Karen Phillip 

You have more control over how you feel than you ever thought possible.

To be self-confident is to enjoy a feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities, and judgement. It is an internal state that is made up of what we think and feel about ourselves. To be self-confident is to be secure in yourself and your abilities. It is viewing yourself with balance. You may have healthy self-esteem, but little confidence in certain settings.

Low self-confidence can occur anytime or even develop in childhood and continue throughout adulthood, causing us great emotional pain. Maybe it was negative comments from a parent, teacher or partner that initiated these negative emotions. Perhaps there was someone that would tell you that you were not good enough or worthy. It is usually the result of these persons’ problems, and you were their convenient target. This is sad of course, but it doesn’t mean their words are true. They may have simply been a nasty, mean or miserable person deflecting on to you.

We often become confused when we realize we have given so much power over to this person believing what they have said, instead of being able to dismiss these horrid or harsh comments as a reflection of their insipid mind.

We need to look at the reason behind any behaviour; there is always a reason. If the person that initiated your lack of self-confidence was a narcissistic or tortured soul, feel sorry for them but stop allowing their unkind mendacious words to penetrate into you any longer.

How can we break our negative doubting cycle?

Affirmations are one way to guide our mind toward stronger beliefs. Using affirmations such as “I will smile at everyone today” or “I will stand tall, speak clearly and believe in myself” gravitates us to do exactly this. You remove yourself from the stuck state and travel forward into another more confident state. The more we practice and do this, the more regular and habitual it becomes. This then converts to our new go-to thought and behaviour.

Of course, it isn’t quite that easy and is only part of the rebuilding process. This is why we developed the Self-confidence session at Virtual Hypnotherapy. This session relaxes your body and mind before affirming positive suggestions into the subconscious mind. The following saying is so accurate, and when we know how to make this change, the rest is easy.

“What the Mind Believes, the Body Responds to”

The Self-confidence session takes you on a journey to regain your sense of self, allows you to feel worthy and capable. Once these suggestions are embedded, you can start to live the way you want, feeling empowered and confident again or perhaps for the first time.

It is time to stop feeling inadequate about yourself. The only person creating this is you. You are creating these thoughts that are debilitating you. Surely it is time to allow those negative beliefs to float by, to relax and do the Self-Confidence session to help rebuild your feelings of self-worth and self-confidence.

When we are confident

When we again become Self-confidence, it permits trust in our abilities, qualities and judgement. It gives us an overall sense of personal value. By developing Self-Confidence, you can:

• Live confidently in all you do

• Improve your self-esteem

• Develop the ability to do anything you want

• Feel confident and free

• Allow your life to move forward

• Become truly fulfilled

This Virtual Hypnotherapy session is a natural process in which your mind is more receptive to positive suggestions while releasing negative feelings. It aids the minds ability to rapidly integrate new skills, strategies and strengths. It is your subconscious mind that creates these doubts. This Self-Confidence session enables you to develop those positive feelings about yourself, your abilities and your self-worth. Feel healthy, strong and be the person you deserve to be, and no one can take that away from you.

Take a look at yourself. See the person you truly are. Perhaps not perfect, as of course, we know none of us is. If you are a good person, a kind person, someone who works hard trying to be the best person you can be for yourself or others, then you are doing a magnificent job.

If there is something about yourself you do not like, take steps to make the adjustments and change that. The power remains yours, and while sometimes we feel overwhelmed, we all have the ability to step up, take charge and change.

I remember a client who contacted me with terrible self-confidence issues. She had the opportunity of a promotion at work, believed she deserved the promotion yet held a limiting belief she wasn’t good enough or would let her firm and colleagues down. Let’s call her Jan.

Jan was intelligent, qualified, hardworking yet believed she was worthless and lacked confidence in herself as wife, mother and worker, simply as a person really. It unfolded it originated from childhood when her father would use demeaning words to crush her little spirit. She forgave him for this behaviour. She then met a man when young who she married to save her from her family and he was a nasty narcissistic individual who would say and do dreadful things to Jan until she gathered enough strength and support to leave. She concentrated on her work and career and was doing extremely well. She struggled meeting others and socializing, even at work functions. Jan really wanted to do well in this new promotion and contacted me for help. She also wanted to get out and enjoy meeting others and experience different areas of life and fun.

I referred her to the self-confidence session and she wrote to me saying she listened to it three times over two weeks. She took the promotion, used positive self-talk and with the embedded commands she started to believe in herself, let go of old notions and permitted herself to be imperfect at times. She said she felt lighter, happier and far more confident. Jan also joined some social groups and was meeting and socializing with others. Her life turned and she felt ‘in-control’ for the first time she said. I love to hear these amazing stories from people who take that step to change their life.

Steps to improve low self-confidence

Apart from listening to the beneficial suggestions in the Virtual Hypnotherapy Self-Confidence session, follow these steps for more rapid improvement:

1.    Regular positive self-talk

2.    Don’t compare yourself to others; we are all individual and different

3.    Exercise or move more to release our feel-good hormones

4.    Strive for the best you can be and remember no one is perfect

5.    Mistakes are an opportunity to learn

6.    Focus on the things you can change

7.    Do things that you enjoy

8.    Celebrate the small achievements

9.    Focus on your positives, one at a time

10.  Take care of yourself, self-care is essential

Undertaking the Self-Confidence session now to enable your mind to relax and rebuild. Do it for yourself now or share with someone you believe may need some support.

Visit VirtualHypnotherapy.com


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4 comments on “How We Develop Self-Confidence”

  1. private avatar image

    Private  |  Veradale, WA, USA

    What an excellent article! I have struggled with my nemesis of self-doubt despite being by nature a confident, strong individual. I think the hardest thing for me to learn was not to compare myself to others; rather to be the absolute best I am capable of being would be the goal. I garnered a great deal from this while reading and found myself nodding and agreeing often.

  2. private avatar image

    Private  | 

    Zuzka! Thank you for bringing Karen to write about this very important subject!
    It is an excellent reminder!



  3. private avatar image

    Private  | 

    Zuzka! I just want to thank you for all the hard work you have put into this site for us. You are truly one of a kind and there will never be anyone who can come close. I can’t imagine starting my day with anyone else. Thank you!

  4. private avatar image

    Private  | 

    I agree with Trayburn, – Zuzka offers an amazing program. This is only my second week of becoming a member and already everyday I can see changes both physically and mentally. I’m so thrilled to have discovered Zuzkalight. I’ve also found the group members so supportive and helpful too. Thanks so much

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