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An Open Letter To All My Fans - Finally I am Standing up for Myself
Blog | July 14, 2013
I didn’t think that I would have to deal with this, but it came to the point when I just have to stand up for myself. It came to my attention that my soon to be ex-husband wrote a post about our marriage in which he pictured me as an abusive monster that used him to get to Los Angeles only to dump him, dump BodyRock.Tv that we’ve build together and become a star. My stomach literally turned upside down when I read all of those horrible things he wrote about me that are absolutely not true. I keep being bullied by this man who took literally everything from me.
Here is my side of the story. Freddy and I have build BodyRock.Tv a fitness/personal blog that became very successful. We traveled, had fun, shot hundreds of workout videos that went viral on youtube. BodyRock.Tv was a very successful business that was making us a lot of money. It was insane. We had everything but home. I did not want to live in Canada and my husband did not want to live in Prague. We tried a little country in Mediterranean – Malta, but it still didn’t feel like home to either of us. In 2011 we were contacted by a large talent agency and production company from Los Angeles to discuss a possible business opportunity. It sounded great and we were both excited to move to L..A.
We moved to Los Angeles in May 2011 and rented an expensive house in West Hollywood for the entire year. While we did not close a deal with the production company and did not get representation from the talent agency, we both felt strong about BodyRock.Tv and wanted to keep growing. Our relationship on the other hand was not at all in good shape. It was not because I was a monster wife that would physically and emotionally abuse my husband. We had serious issues that caused disconnection on my part. I was not happy about the creative direction of our videos and the way I was being portrait and perceived. While I was happy about the numbers on youtube and growing business I was feeling more and more embarrassed about my sexualized image. Don’t get me wrong, I like sexy, and confident, but I don’t enjoy having camera close up my cleavage and elsewhere. That was also a reason why we did not get any sponsorships or representation by any large talent agency despite of the popularity online. I felt like our goals were different. I wanted a clean family friendly blog that people wouldn’t be embarrassed to share with their friends, and Freddy wanted to see bigger numbers. I felt like I was being controlled in every aspect of my life. I didn’t even have my own cellphone for the first few months in Los Angeles. Apparently it wasn’t needed. If anyone wanted to talk to me, they can call my husbands cell phone.
Another issue in our relationship was our intimacy. I was not as physical with my husband as he wanted me to be which led to frustrations on his part and disappointment and disconnection on mine. I couldn’t get a hug from him to be comforted, without him being sexual with me. I could no longer imagine to have family with this man. I knew that I would not be able to look into my children’s eyes and tell them that their dad is the love of my life.
I decided that the best thing for both of us would be to separate as a couple and remain best friends and business partners. While I can’t deny that Freddy was devastated by my decision, it was not true that he had to leave to his home town in Canada. I told him that our house was big enough for both of us. We had two separate bedrooms. I offered him that I would help him to get through the changes and that I would not be the first one to date other people if he decides to stay. I wanted him to be happy and I wanted us to keep growing BodyRock.Tv.
He decided to leave me in Los Angeles and went back to his home town in Canada with his family. I was fine with that and I have to say that I felt relieved and was excited for the new beginnings. Freddy and I were in touch every day and talked about BodyRock.Tv and how we are going to continue as business partners. We agreed on bringing in other girls as hosts of the workout videos. However my idea of hiring a camera guy to shoot my workout videos was denied by my husband. No one was allowed to shoot videos of me. That’s why you could see me doing only short intros to the workouts having my camera on tripod. I was also doing some nutrition and diet posts, but I felt very limited by not having anyone to help me. We were both feeling overwhelmed by the change, because we were used to working together and we were very good at working together.
Things got very tough when his new girlfriend Lisa Marie came to the picture. While I thought that him having a new girlfriend, a person that will be there for him, will make things a lot easier, I was wrong. Up until then, we were friends, partners and we were getting along. If you were following BodyRock.Tv back then you must have noticed that I have basically vanished right after her very first post. In December 2011, Freddy’s attitude towards me changed completely. He became incredibly mean, he denied me an access to BodyRock.Tv and all the social media we’ve build together. Since I had no access to our Canadian business account, and owned only 49% of the company, I was relying on him to pay me monthly dividends. My future was completely in his hands. When I asked for my dividends he told me to first sign a non-compete agreement. What that means is that I wouldn’t be allowed to ever have my own fitness blog or to ever do a workout video online. I felt like I was being controlled again and threatened on top of that. It was never my intension to leave BodyRock.Tv. I was forced to leave to keep my independence and dignity. He told me to lawyer up and the last email I got from him stated exactly this: “I want you to sell the company car that your mom is using. Aww, isn’t it horrible that your mom that has nothing won’t even have the car?” That my friends right there was the end of our friendship. I couldn’t believe it. Of course I did not sell the car and my mom still has it.
What happened next is that he wrote a post on BodyRock.Tv that would portray me as a bad person that betrayed him in every possible way. He wrote that he was being forced and manipulated to write the post about us breaking up. That was the post with the picture of us sitting on the front step of the house in West Hollywood. Just to let you know, nobody was forcing him to write what he did. While I was pushing for him to post the truth about us not being a couple, he wanted to write it in his own words and told me not to let anyone know that I left him. I was fine with that.
At that time, I decided that I will not give up and that I will continue doing what I love and he or nobody else will ever stop me. I contacted Darren from Watch it now entertainment, explained him the entire situation and asked him if he wants to be my partner. We clicked as friends immediately and we were on the same page when it comes to fitness, blogging and my image as a trainer. I got hired by his company and got my work visa instantly. After that, you know the story. We started shooting ZWOWs and I tried to get back on my feet. I can never thank Darren and his team at Watch It Now Entertainment enough, who all helped me when I had absolutely nothing. I am also forever thankful to my boyfriend who stood by me the entire time and gave me the kind of love and home that I have always dreamed off.
I filed for divorce in January 2012, however I am still waiting for the divorce to happen, because my husband is way too power hungry and wants my 49% of BodyRock.Tv which he thinks is worth his signature on our divorce papers and nothing more. I was also threatened by a letter from his lawyer that I might be deported back to Czech Republic if I won’t stop doing ZWOWS and sign the non-compete agreement with BodyRock.Tv. I guess he assumed that I didn’t get my visa.
I have received way more abuse from him in the form of online bullying. He said so many bad things about me on his Facebook and other social media and I have never stood up for myself. For some weird reason I thought that he is really not that kind of person and that maybe he’s just very hurt that I left him. I thought that he is being like that because he’s probably suffering. Now it got to the point that I am hundred percent certain that all that crap he writes about me is his cover up to justify the fact that he took everything from me and have been actively trying to destroy my career and my online presence. Here he is again with another post trying to hurt me. He didn’t take the most important part of me though–my faith, love, and will power.
Private Member |
Dear Zuzka,
I know so good such feeling – when man acts like an ass, but woman is steel hoping, waiting, being afraid to hurt him, remembering a good beginning of a relationship.
It takes so much energy – to respond him in a manner he really deserves. But I hope you will go through it and he will disappear from your life and this situation will not hurt you any more in no way. Stay strong! Don’t waist too much energy on him.
You are great person, great teacher with lots of loyal fans. You are absolutely great! I left br.tv when new girl appeared here and I was really happy to see that you have started your own trainings. It is great that you stand up for your identity.
I wish you to enjoy your life and make us, your fans, happy with your trainings!
I also think it would be good idea to make a yearly meeting for you and your fans – I think it might be a huge support and motivation event!
Best wishes for you!
Private Member |
Hi Zuzka!
Thanks for opening this private part to people. When you have been replaced by other girl on BodyRock.tv workouts videos, My twin and I who love your workouts and your personality,were shocked and very very very disappointed.. And when you appeared again with the zwow it was so great! You are the inspiration to all of those who watching you ! Thank you for being there ! May life treats you right and may health and happiness be always at your side!
Olga
Private Member |
I’m glad you’re gaining control of what you want to do with this fitness blog. You’ve a strong brand image and a successful format, and I think the person most acutely aware of that is your ex. Without you as the figurehead for bodyrock.tv he has a weakened business because you were bodyrock.tv. now you’re zuzkalight, which is awesome. Keep control of your life Z, don’t pay this guy any more attention that he deserves (which isn’t much) and do the things that your happy with. The community that you’ve built will be there to support you, I’m certain.
Private Member |
Hi Zu!
I can’t help but feel sad after reading your post. I have been following BodyRock.Tv since 2009 and had been heartbroken after you both parted ways. It was hard as I have always pictured you as my friends or even my family and couldn’t understand what happened. I think it was the same for all of your long time followers. We all needed some explanation however what we got was unclear and very confusing. After that I stopped following brtv and was only doing your old exercises which slowly one by one started to disappear from the website. It wasn’t the same. Also those weird/bulling posts arisen and any replies trying to stand by you we’re delayed or not even posted. It all felt like being in between divorcing parents to be honest. Finally I am so glad you wrote this post not only to give us your site of the story but also to help us understand what happened. And because you never did that before he saw it as an opportunity to try and bring you down and any business you were trying to build without him. It’s clear he’s still not over you but that only says one thing-you are a good and beautiful person inside out and I’m so happy for you and I’m wishing you lots of happiness in both your personal as well as professional life! And to him well I hope he move forward and realise that life is just too short for holding a grudge.
Lots of love
Magdalena
Private Member |
Move forward, girl! We all believe in you and we are ALL with you! Stay strong and fight for your future.
When you disappeared from bodyrock, i think lot of people was unsubscribed from this channel.
It’s terrible that people are losing the human face when they want a lot of money…
Private Member |
Ok, now listen! I’m really not the type of a girl that writes comments, I’m more of a quiet follower, but this is just too much.
Zuz, I love your workouts, from the first time I saw one from Malta ant thought – I just can’t do this, she’s a robot. 😀
You doing this website – best move ever!
And as far as your divorce goes – it was very normal, and loving,dignified and a kind thing that you’ve never, ever said anything bad about it. Or your ex husband.
He, on the other hand, feels the need to talk crap about you and just like that , every normal person can understand and see who is the week one, immature one, and hungry fore attention and money.
Z, really , it’s a great thing that you are standing up for yourself, you should, enough is enough.
Just don’t ever think for a moment this community will love you or respect you any less because of your divorce, your ex husband, or his posts.
We (I at least) follow your blog for all the great things you have to offer, and your sweet personality, so just keep up the good work, do not let anyone hold you down!
There. Now I’m going back to just posting my scores. 😉
Private Member |
Zuz,
I just wanted you to know that you mean so much to me. I am a huge fan, and always have been.
Freddy has no talent and is probably jealous of you. Nobody joined bodyrock because of him. They all joined because of you. His new attempt with the site is lame. People work out in their underwear…it’s completely classless.
I look up to you. Thank you for being so inspirational. <3
Private Member |
You ARE bodyrock to all pf us Zuzka, No one can ever take that away from you. A wise friend once told me, whenever you have problems professionally, just believe in your work, the work is what its all about in the end, and if its good everybody will see, and we all have. Everyone has said enough comments for ypu to know we all support you! i am just really shocked u lived in MALTA!! I am maltese but i follow you from Madrid. Big hugz Suzanna, I love my Zjourney already!! X
Private Member |
Thanks for sharing your story. I have followed you since your beginning days of BodyRock and remember being shocked when you two split up. Your success now is sweet revenge that just has to be making him jealous. His anger is probably because of that jealousy and hurt that you left him. You’re an amazing woman. I’m sure he’s upset that you left him because he will probably never find anyone as great as you again. You have so many followers that know your true personality. It shines through on the hundreds of videos that you have. We all know you’re definitely not a monster. If anyone does believe that, then they haven’t seen enough of your videos. Keep moving forward! You have so many people that think the world of you and that are on your side.
Private Member |
I was wondering what happened with Bodyrock.tv, and why all of a sudden all your posts and video’s were deleted. I’m glad I found you again. You’re truly an Inspiration. Sorry, about your divorce, atleast you offered to remain friends and business partners. Keep up the good work, stay focused on what matters most. Good move on your part to keep the website family friendly. 🙂