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An Open Letter To All My Fans - Finally I am Standing up for Myself
Blog | July 14, 2013
I didn’t think that I would have to deal with this, but it came to the point when I just have to stand up for myself. It came to my attention that my soon to be ex-husband wrote a post about our marriage in which he pictured me as an abusive monster that used him to get to Los Angeles only to dump him, dump BodyRock.Tv that we’ve build together and become a star. My stomach literally turned upside down when I read all of those horrible things he wrote about me that are absolutely not true. I keep being bullied by this man who took literally everything from me.
Here is my side of the story. Freddy and I have build BodyRock.Tv a fitness/personal blog that became very successful. We traveled, had fun, shot hundreds of workout videos that went viral on youtube. BodyRock.Tv was a very successful business that was making us a lot of money. It was insane. We had everything but home. I did not want to live in Canada and my husband did not want to live in Prague. We tried a little country in Mediterranean – Malta, but it still didn’t feel like home to either of us. In 2011 we were contacted by a large talent agency and production company from Los Angeles to discuss a possible business opportunity. It sounded great and we were both excited to move to L..A.
We moved to Los Angeles in May 2011 and rented an expensive house in West Hollywood for the entire year. While we did not close a deal with the production company and did not get representation from the talent agency, we both felt strong about BodyRock.Tv and wanted to keep growing. Our relationship on the other hand was not at all in good shape. It was not because I was a monster wife that would physically and emotionally abuse my husband. We had serious issues that caused disconnection on my part. I was not happy about the creative direction of our videos and the way I was being portrait and perceived. While I was happy about the numbers on youtube and growing business I was feeling more and more embarrassed about my sexualized image. Don’t get me wrong, I like sexy, and confident, but I don’t enjoy having camera close up my cleavage and elsewhere. That was also a reason why we did not get any sponsorships or representation by any large talent agency despite of the popularity online. I felt like our goals were different. I wanted a clean family friendly blog that people wouldn’t be embarrassed to share with their friends, and Freddy wanted to see bigger numbers. I felt like I was being controlled in every aspect of my life. I didn’t even have my own cellphone for the first few months in Los Angeles. Apparently it wasn’t needed. If anyone wanted to talk to me, they can call my husbands cell phone.
Another issue in our relationship was our intimacy. I was not as physical with my husband as he wanted me to be which led to frustrations on his part and disappointment and disconnection on mine. I couldn’t get a hug from him to be comforted, without him being sexual with me. I could no longer imagine to have family with this man. I knew that I would not be able to look into my children’s eyes and tell them that their dad is the love of my life.
I decided that the best thing for both of us would be to separate as a couple and remain best friends and business partners. While I can’t deny that Freddy was devastated by my decision, it was not true that he had to leave to his home town in Canada. I told him that our house was big enough for both of us. We had two separate bedrooms. I offered him that I would help him to get through the changes and that I would not be the first one to date other people if he decides to stay. I wanted him to be happy and I wanted us to keep growing BodyRock.Tv.
He decided to leave me in Los Angeles and went back to his home town in Canada with his family. I was fine with that and I have to say that I felt relieved and was excited for the new beginnings. Freddy and I were in touch every day and talked about BodyRock.Tv and how we are going to continue as business partners. We agreed on bringing in other girls as hosts of the workout videos. However my idea of hiring a camera guy to shoot my workout videos was denied by my husband. No one was allowed to shoot videos of me. That’s why you could see me doing only short intros to the workouts having my camera on tripod. I was also doing some nutrition and diet posts, but I felt very limited by not having anyone to help me. We were both feeling overwhelmed by the change, because we were used to working together and we were very good at working together.
Things got very tough when his new girlfriend Lisa Marie came to the picture. While I thought that him having a new girlfriend, a person that will be there for him, will make things a lot easier, I was wrong. Up until then, we were friends, partners and we were getting along. If you were following BodyRock.Tv back then you must have noticed that I have basically vanished right after her very first post. In December 2011, Freddy’s attitude towards me changed completely. He became incredibly mean, he denied me an access to BodyRock.Tv and all the social media we’ve build together. Since I had no access to our Canadian business account, and owned only 49% of the company, I was relying on him to pay me monthly dividends. My future was completely in his hands. When I asked for my dividends he told me to first sign a non-compete agreement. What that means is that I wouldn’t be allowed to ever have my own fitness blog or to ever do a workout video online. I felt like I was being controlled again and threatened on top of that. It was never my intension to leave BodyRock.Tv. I was forced to leave to keep my independence and dignity. He told me to lawyer up and the last email I got from him stated exactly this: “I want you to sell the company car that your mom is using. Aww, isn’t it horrible that your mom that has nothing won’t even have the car?” That my friends right there was the end of our friendship. I couldn’t believe it. Of course I did not sell the car and my mom still has it.
What happened next is that he wrote a post on BodyRock.Tv that would portray me as a bad person that betrayed him in every possible way. He wrote that he was being forced and manipulated to write the post about us breaking up. That was the post with the picture of us sitting on the front step of the house in West Hollywood. Just to let you know, nobody was forcing him to write what he did. While I was pushing for him to post the truth about us not being a couple, he wanted to write it in his own words and told me not to let anyone know that I left him. I was fine with that.
At that time, I decided that I will not give up and that I will continue doing what I love and he or nobody else will ever stop me. I contacted Darren from Watch it now entertainment, explained him the entire situation and asked him if he wants to be my partner. We clicked as friends immediately and we were on the same page when it comes to fitness, blogging and my image as a trainer. I got hired by his company and got my work visa instantly. After that, you know the story. We started shooting ZWOWs and I tried to get back on my feet. I can never thank Darren and his team at Watch It Now Entertainment enough, who all helped me when I had absolutely nothing. I am also forever thankful to my boyfriend who stood by me the entire time and gave me the kind of love and home that I have always dreamed off.
I filed for divorce in January 2012, however I am still waiting for the divorce to happen, because my husband is way too power hungry and wants my 49% of BodyRock.Tv which he thinks is worth his signature on our divorce papers and nothing more. I was also threatened by a letter from his lawyer that I might be deported back to Czech Republic if I won’t stop doing ZWOWS and sign the non-compete agreement with BodyRock.Tv. I guess he assumed that I didn’t get my visa.
I have received way more abuse from him in the form of online bullying. He said so many bad things about me on his Facebook and other social media and I have never stood up for myself. For some weird reason I thought that he is really not that kind of person and that maybe he’s just very hurt that I left him. I thought that he is being like that because he’s probably suffering. Now it got to the point that I am hundred percent certain that all that crap he writes about me is his cover up to justify the fact that he took everything from me and have been actively trying to destroy my career and my online presence. Here he is again with another post trying to hurt me. He didn’t take the most important part of me though–my faith, love, and will power.
Private Member |
Té sexualizace BodyRock Tv si všiml asi každý. Opravdu to bylo nedůstojné, jakým způsobem tě natáčel, a vůbec se Ti nedivím, že to byl jeden z mnoha důvodů Tvých nešťastných pocitů o Vašem svazku. Je dobře, že sis to všechno nenenechala dál líbit a posunula se dál. Bohužel muži už takoví bývají, a pokud jsou zhrzeni nebo se jim zkrátka třeba i méně daří, mstí se takovým jednáním, jaké popisuješ. Držím palce a jsem pyšná, že máme ve světě tak úspěšnou a šikovnou rodačku 🙂
Private Member |
Zuzanna, you HAVE TO read Robin Norwood’s “Women Who Love Too Much”. I think, the most important part in your letter was the part where you say, that you always thought that he was acting like that just because it (i.e. YOU) hurted him so much.
It was not your fault. You have to say that each day loud, more often then the reps in your workouts probably;) It wasn’t your fault, you could not have healed anything just by giving more love or understanding or anything else.
You need way more emotional distance between assholes like him and yourself.
It seems to me like you were kind of used to suffer because of someone else like this. Anyone else would have kicked his ass much earlier. Also most women would not have let him leave in the same appartement after the relationship has been over. But I know this kind of men who turns into a mean enemy after they have understood that you will not let them mistreat yourself ever again. That makes them crazy.
Private Member |
STAY STRONG
He is only showing up himself x
So sorry you have one through this. However for one moment step out of yourself and evaluate this from an outside view !
All he is doing is shooting himself in the foot!
You my dear have done the right thing by writing this and not once have you put this man down. The only person who has let him down is himself x
Private Member |
You are the reason we all fell in love with body rock tv not freddy. We fell in love with your energy and dynamic personality. I did not watch another day without you on it and it wasn’t because your physical attributes were no longer there! Hold your head high girl, he’s got nothing on you and no matter where you go you will always shine!
Private Member |
Be string!! You’re A W S O M E .
Private Member |
Be strong ! *
Private Member |
I love you Zuzana and only thing I would done now is give you a huge hug! :)))
With love and support, Marija
Private Member |
Actually, the bottomlin is: I do not think, that the ex-husband, BR or anything but you and your great work is interesting. Just do not give a fuck, do not care. Do not let the brainless posts get to you.
To be honest, it should be difficult to understand why you still let him or his ridiculous posts get to you. After all, you are lightyears better than him in any way. And I want to think that you know much better than to worry about such neurotic relationships. You know much better than to even let him run through your brain.
You know much better than that!
You are good, you do not have anything to worry.
We are all there where you are. And will go with you all the way.
Know thyself ;D
Private Member |
Keep your head up! Stay strong! Don’t let Freddy and his nonsense get you down. You know what they say about karma! I followed you since Bodyrock started. I bounced between Bodyrock (aka daily hiit) for a while but then it became too much …porn-like cleavage and up the butt shots. I am loving your new website. Good luck on all you future endeavors.
Private Member |
No matter what I’ve been watching – bodyrock or zwows – I’ve been watching you.
Zuzka.
The person who gives me motivation, who makes me do my workouts, who shows that it’s all worth it. And she does that all because of what she’s like, with all her heart and good will to help others. There are many youtube channels with workouts I could go but none of them has got you and you do build true relationship based on pure joy and care.
Workouts with you have always been something more.
You do care about your warriors and I guess this is what keeps us togheter. You make us feel like a part of your life, and with pleasure you become the part of ours.
All you do – you do it your way!
Thank you for being who you are, despite of people who wants to destroy it.
Never give in!
Best wishes – Anet