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An Open Letter To All My Fans - Finally I am Standing up for Myself
Blog | July 14, 2013
I didn’t think that I would have to deal with this, but it came to the point when I just have to stand up for myself. It came to my attention that my soon to be ex-husband wrote a post about our marriage in which he pictured me as an abusive monster that used him to get to Los Angeles only to dump him, dump BodyRock.Tv that we’ve build together and become a star. My stomach literally turned upside down when I read all of those horrible things he wrote about me that are absolutely not true. I keep being bullied by this man who took literally everything from me.
Here is my side of the story. Freddy and I have build BodyRock.Tv a fitness/personal blog that became very successful. We traveled, had fun, shot hundreds of workout videos that went viral on youtube. BodyRock.Tv was a very successful business that was making us a lot of money. It was insane. We had everything but home. I did not want to live in Canada and my husband did not want to live in Prague. We tried a little country in Mediterranean – Malta, but it still didn’t feel like home to either of us. In 2011 we were contacted by a large talent agency and production company from Los Angeles to discuss a possible business opportunity. It sounded great and we were both excited to move to L..A.
We moved to Los Angeles in May 2011 and rented an expensive house in West Hollywood for the entire year. While we did not close a deal with the production company and did not get representation from the talent agency, we both felt strong about BodyRock.Tv and wanted to keep growing. Our relationship on the other hand was not at all in good shape. It was not because I was a monster wife that would physically and emotionally abuse my husband. We had serious issues that caused disconnection on my part. I was not happy about the creative direction of our videos and the way I was being portrait and perceived. While I was happy about the numbers on youtube and growing business I was feeling more and more embarrassed about my sexualized image. Don’t get me wrong, I like sexy, and confident, but I don’t enjoy having camera close up my cleavage and elsewhere. That was also a reason why we did not get any sponsorships or representation by any large talent agency despite of the popularity online. I felt like our goals were different. I wanted a clean family friendly blog that people wouldn’t be embarrassed to share with their friends, and Freddy wanted to see bigger numbers. I felt like I was being controlled in every aspect of my life. I didn’t even have my own cellphone for the first few months in Los Angeles. Apparently it wasn’t needed. If anyone wanted to talk to me, they can call my husbands cell phone.
Another issue in our relationship was our intimacy. I was not as physical with my husband as he wanted me to be which led to frustrations on his part and disappointment and disconnection on mine. I couldn’t get a hug from him to be comforted, without him being sexual with me. I could no longer imagine to have family with this man. I knew that I would not be able to look into my children’s eyes and tell them that their dad is the love of my life.
I decided that the best thing for both of us would be to separate as a couple and remain best friends and business partners. While I can’t deny that Freddy was devastated by my decision, it was not true that he had to leave to his home town in Canada. I told him that our house was big enough for both of us. We had two separate bedrooms. I offered him that I would help him to get through the changes and that I would not be the first one to date other people if he decides to stay. I wanted him to be happy and I wanted us to keep growing BodyRock.Tv.
He decided to leave me in Los Angeles and went back to his home town in Canada with his family. I was fine with that and I have to say that I felt relieved and was excited for the new beginnings. Freddy and I were in touch every day and talked about BodyRock.Tv and how we are going to continue as business partners. We agreed on bringing in other girls as hosts of the workout videos. However my idea of hiring a camera guy to shoot my workout videos was denied by my husband. No one was allowed to shoot videos of me. That’s why you could see me doing only short intros to the workouts having my camera on tripod. I was also doing some nutrition and diet posts, but I felt very limited by not having anyone to help me. We were both feeling overwhelmed by the change, because we were used to working together and we were very good at working together.
Things got very tough when his new girlfriend Lisa Marie came to the picture. While I thought that him having a new girlfriend, a person that will be there for him, will make things a lot easier, I was wrong. Up until then, we were friends, partners and we were getting along. If you were following BodyRock.Tv back then you must have noticed that I have basically vanished right after her very first post. In December 2011, Freddy’s attitude towards me changed completely. He became incredibly mean, he denied me an access to BodyRock.Tv and all the social media we’ve build together. Since I had no access to our Canadian business account, and owned only 49% of the company, I was relying on him to pay me monthly dividends. My future was completely in his hands. When I asked for my dividends he told me to first sign a non-compete agreement. What that means is that I wouldn’t be allowed to ever have my own fitness blog or to ever do a workout video online. I felt like I was being controlled again and threatened on top of that. It was never my intension to leave BodyRock.Tv. I was forced to leave to keep my independence and dignity. He told me to lawyer up and the last email I got from him stated exactly this: “I want you to sell the company car that your mom is using. Aww, isn’t it horrible that your mom that has nothing won’t even have the car?” That my friends right there was the end of our friendship. I couldn’t believe it. Of course I did not sell the car and my mom still has it.
What happened next is that he wrote a post on BodyRock.Tv that would portray me as a bad person that betrayed him in every possible way. He wrote that he was being forced and manipulated to write the post about us breaking up. That was the post with the picture of us sitting on the front step of the house in West Hollywood. Just to let you know, nobody was forcing him to write what he did. While I was pushing for him to post the truth about us not being a couple, he wanted to write it in his own words and told me not to let anyone know that I left him. I was fine with that.
At that time, I decided that I will not give up and that I will continue doing what I love and he or nobody else will ever stop me. I contacted Darren from Watch it now entertainment, explained him the entire situation and asked him if he wants to be my partner. We clicked as friends immediately and we were on the same page when it comes to fitness, blogging and my image as a trainer. I got hired by his company and got my work visa instantly. After that, you know the story. We started shooting ZWOWs and I tried to get back on my feet. I can never thank Darren and his team at Watch It Now Entertainment enough, who all helped me when I had absolutely nothing. I am also forever thankful to my boyfriend who stood by me the entire time and gave me the kind of love and home that I have always dreamed off.
I filed for divorce in January 2012, however I am still waiting for the divorce to happen, because my husband is way too power hungry and wants my 49% of BodyRock.Tv which he thinks is worth his signature on our divorce papers and nothing more. I was also threatened by a letter from his lawyer that I might be deported back to Czech Republic if I won’t stop doing ZWOWS and sign the non-compete agreement with BodyRock.Tv. I guess he assumed that I didn’t get my visa.
I have received way more abuse from him in the form of online bullying. He said so many bad things about me on his Facebook and other social media and I have never stood up for myself. For some weird reason I thought that he is really not that kind of person and that maybe he’s just very hurt that I left him. I thought that he is being like that because he’s probably suffering. Now it got to the point that I am hundred percent certain that all that crap he writes about me is his cover up to justify the fact that he took everything from me and have been actively trying to destroy my career and my online presence. Here he is again with another post trying to hurt me. He didn’t take the most important part of me though–my faith, love, and will power.
Private Member |
I am a huge believer in being accountable for our own actions. It was two of you in the marriage. Noone is 100% to blame. However, when I read what you just wrote I cldn’t help but feel that it wasn’t completely honest. Many people are aware of your past in the Porn Industry (you shared that with us all). It was very sexualized, so when you wrote : “I was feeling more and more embarrassed about my sexualized image. Don’t get me wrong, I like sexy, and confident, but I don’t enjoy having camera close up my cleavage and elsewhere.” It surprised me alot. You were very comfortable in front of the camera, in way less clothing that on a Bodyrock.tv video. And shooting waaay more intimate shots that he did. The way you dress in your daily life shows you are proud of your body and not afraid of ppl looking at it. Even in this picture. So playing the victim here is not attractive at all. We all should take responsibility for our actions. Clearly you did not have a physical attraction to Freddy, but to write that on here was tasteless in my opinion. Regardless of what Freddy wrote, he never attacked you physicality. That is just mean. I am not judging you or him. I just wish ppl would be accountable for their own actions and stop blaming others for exploiting them. You were not held captive, chained and forced to wear what you did. Even in your new video’s on here the camera zooms in on your chest alot. So, all I’m saying is don’t attack Lisa Marie and be mature about your own actions.
Private Member |
How is she not being mature in her actions and where did she attack Lisa Marie? I’ve re-read this piece several times and the only time she mentions Lisa Marie is to say that when LM came along she thought that now that Freddie had a new GF who would make him happy that things would be better.. how is that attacking LM? No one knows the truth but the two of them, and what does her past have to do with what she is doing now.. is it your opinion that someone cannot move beyond their past, something they did at 18 and that they have been candid about and have tried and tried and worked successfully to put behind them? I have watched and did the ZWOWS and they are in NO WAY as sexualized, teasing and provocative as the BR videos. I can actually workout to those videos in my LR with my teenager present, something I couldn’t do with the BR videos and could never do with the current BR vidoes that many of the current hosts are in. Zuzana had endured months of digs and slams against her personally by BR and the one time she responds you accuse of not being ‘mature’ How is she playing the victim? what is not attractive is anyone.. man or woman who will use a serious issue such as domestic violence to gain sympathy, ratings, followers, advertisers, etc. It’s because of false claims of DV that makes it harder and harder for women and men to be believed when true DV occurs. While I do not believe that either one should be airing their private business on the internet, I fully support Zuzana’s right to finally defend herself against these constant attacks. IMHO
Private Member |
But you know what? Zuzka would not write anythink if Frederick did not write some posts about their privacy. She is just defending herself. It is obvious Zuzka is the last one who wanted to talk about her personal problems on internet. You cannot judge what she wrote because you do not know anything about it. But Frederic has a need to blemish her name again and again.
Private Member |
UM has it ever occurred to you that she does not want to be who she used to be when she was in the porn industry? SHe isnt that person anymore, dont be so fucking ignorant. Furthermore you creepy fuck, its obviously apparent you creep on her porn past. Get real- you dont know what its like to be in a relationship with men like Freddy. Sometimes you go allow with what the other wants for so long that you compromise your own morals. Love makes you do stupid stuff until you reach a breaking point, it doesnt matter what happened before or what you think she felt comfortable with, take your closed minded, midwest, unintelligent hillbilly perceptions to the Daily Hiit.
Private Member |
Im 100% with you on this one!
Private Member |
I actually just died laughing at your last line Alexandria…totally my new facebook status 🙂
Private Member |
I am amaze that you really think that bringing up her past is gonna make you look any better and make her sound like shes blaming everyone. First of all she knows that what she did in the past was horrible. She even said it in her old BR and her other two interviews. I guess you havent join and watch and read her interviews because you seem to be too focus on her “soft porn” career.
Lemme say that you cannot compare her videos and urls pics to BR’s pics, thats for sure. Its not like shes showing her boobs and ass crotch in almost every video like BR is still doing til this day. Do you have any idea what you are talking about. Either you think that she still is a pornstar or you dont have enough knowledge about who she is.
I dont see her playing the victim at all in this post. The one who is playing the victim is the one that is constantly posting bad things about a person whom that person was married too and whats all the attention to be on that person.
LM wasnt even being attacked, she was making her statement about what happen. She did say that “she thought that LM was gonna make it all easy” right? So i dunno where did you get this crap from but please read it again before you make this statement about LM.
Zuzka is not that one that is saying negitive things about BR, its Freddy who started this drama and crap and making a big deal by spewing his former marriage issues in public.
Private Member |
You’re a very strong woman, Zuzka, and we’re all thrilled to see you being successful again. 🙂 I never followed BodyRock much, having only found it a few months ago. They have great workouts but I’ve never been a fan of the sexualization. So I was very glad when someone directed me to your site. Similar workouts, but, while staying sexy, you’re portrayed as a fitness trainer rather than a model. I’m willing to pay a bit for your ZGYM for workouts I’m comfortable showing, say, my mom. Hang in there! You’ve got a lot of people rooting for you. 🙂
Private Member |
That explains a lot. I started following Bodyrock after you left, because that is when I found it. Then, through comments there, found your site. All the workouts are great, but I don’t want to share it with my friends or even my hubby because there are so many soft-porn type shots there, it’s very, very upsetting. They always say if you don’t like it, leave. It’s a free site and a free country. Total cop-out. This explanation tells me a lot. Best of luck, I will be supporting you for sure…just hoping you keep your workouts free 😉
Private Member |
“Breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn`t respect and appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss.”
I am a huge fan of you. What goes around, comes around.
Be strong! You are not alone.
Private Member |
Freddy, plain and simple is a misogynist pimp. From the way he treated you, to the way he portrays Lisa, I can tell he only sees women as a commodity to make him rich, or as a sex toy to satisfy his own selfish desires. I truly feel sorry for Lisa…with all of her plastic surgeries and her soul-less eyes you can tell she was transformed into a $$ making fembot for Freddy. Freddy is nothing without the women around him to pimp out and he knows it. You are an inspiration to all women to kick ass regardless of the abusive and controlling men who try to destroy you. I am proud of you that you stood up to control your image and you will find amazing success, and I and many others are behind you all the way!!! You have shown nothing but class, hard work, and intelligence, and even without you writing all of this, most of us could figure out the truth. Freddy’s house of cards will fall down soon enough…karma is a bitch after all ain’t it? Big hugs, Blanche
Private Member |
Shine on! Only the two of you know the full story, but I think a lot of us ‘followers’ figured out at least part of the picture even before this blogpost, from the way he wrote about you and your marriage. I understand it may still be rough in many ways, but YAY for you that you will not be pushed into giving up/giving in 🙂
Private Member |
I guess my earlier comment may have made no sense so I’ll try to re-package it – LOL…
Only those who are afraid try to control the world and people around them. They build emotional traps, try to foster dependence and pull their partners down. There is no freedom, only control in the guise of ‘love’.
Change happens but it’s usually only at the point where the situation has become so desperate that the ‘lesser’ party must break free or die emotionally.
Eventual freedom is then a transformative experience and escape leads to amazing growth and happiness.
Others have commented on your inspirational energy Z and I’m sure that’s what drew so many people to Bodyrock initially and then again to your own site – we were all rooting for you! 😉
What’s gone un-remarked is that this kind of break up can be an opportunity for BOTH parties to really grow however it seems in this case hope is lost. Some people repeat this pattern over and over, some never ‘get it’…
Since this site embodies the ‘journey’ of transformation (where change, self care and personal growth is a necessity) it seems odd to me that some comments can’t grasp the fundamental point that a person’s ‘value’ or right to happiness isn’t dependent on any of their actions in the past.
If this is your belief then you should probably just give up trying to make any aspect of your life better.
The joy of the human experience is we each have the power to shape our present moment in order to direct our lives. The future is written by us in tiny bites, moment by moment as we step into each day. Every decision ripples outwards and the comes back to us.
We all want to run, dance, look great and do handstands but… IN THE PRESENT MOMENT we must not eat a shedload of cake 😉
Don’t get pulled down by someone that’s failed to recognise an opportunity to change and please carry on shining Zuzka Light
Every blessing and best wishes
Robert
Private Member |
I stopped watching BodyRock after you left because I didn’t like the zoomed in cleavage and butt shots. Your workouts are amazing and you are a strong beautiful independent woman.
Good for you Zuzka for leaving him. Stay strong and positive!
-Skyler
Private Member |
The over-sexualized spin of BodyRock has resulted in it becoming a site which cannot be accessed from most Canadian federal government workstations — thereby denying to that channel the viewership of many tens of thousands of potential fans and followers.
Reading of the emotional abuse which you have endured makes me think that the blockade is at least a tiny bit of justice for the perpetrator.
I have been recommending your workouts to colleagues for years. That’s going to continue!
Thank you for doing what you do! 🙂
Private Member |
You are an amazing and brave person. Its to bad your ex turned into a jackass. I left bodyrock after you left and I wasn’t happy to see that you weren’t posting videos anymore. Lisa doesn’t do anything for me, as far as I’m concerned she not fit to carry your bags. Please fight for your 49%. You earned it and there is no way Freddy could have grown BR to the level it was when you left. You are classy, beautiful and inspirational. I think Freddy is vindictive because he lost his meal ticket. Regardless of the path you choose its obvious you are a special and all of your many fans (me included) know this to be true.