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An Open Letter To All My Fans - Finally I am Standing up for Myself
Blog | July 14, 2013
I didn’t think that I would have to deal with this, but it came to the point when I just have to stand up for myself. It came to my attention that my soon to be ex-husband wrote a post about our marriage in which he pictured me as an abusive monster that used him to get to Los Angeles only to dump him, dump BodyRock.Tv that we’ve build together and become a star. My stomach literally turned upside down when I read all of those horrible things he wrote about me that are absolutely not true. I keep being bullied by this man who took literally everything from me.
Here is my side of the story. Freddy and I have build BodyRock.Tv a fitness/personal blog that became very successful. We traveled, had fun, shot hundreds of workout videos that went viral on youtube. BodyRock.Tv was a very successful business that was making us a lot of money. It was insane. We had everything but home. I did not want to live in Canada and my husband did not want to live in Prague. We tried a little country in Mediterranean – Malta, but it still didn’t feel like home to either of us. In 2011 we were contacted by a large talent agency and production company from Los Angeles to discuss a possible business opportunity. It sounded great and we were both excited to move to L..A.
We moved to Los Angeles in May 2011 and rented an expensive house in West Hollywood for the entire year. While we did not close a deal with the production company and did not get representation from the talent agency, we both felt strong about BodyRock.Tv and wanted to keep growing. Our relationship on the other hand was not at all in good shape. It was not because I was a monster wife that would physically and emotionally abuse my husband. We had serious issues that caused disconnection on my part. I was not happy about the creative direction of our videos and the way I was being portrait and perceived. While I was happy about the numbers on youtube and growing business I was feeling more and more embarrassed about my sexualized image. Don’t get me wrong, I like sexy, and confident, but I don’t enjoy having camera close up my cleavage and elsewhere. That was also a reason why we did not get any sponsorships or representation by any large talent agency despite of the popularity online. I felt like our goals were different. I wanted a clean family friendly blog that people wouldn’t be embarrassed to share with their friends, and Freddy wanted to see bigger numbers. I felt like I was being controlled in every aspect of my life. I didn’t even have my own cellphone for the first few months in Los Angeles. Apparently it wasn’t needed. If anyone wanted to talk to me, they can call my husbands cell phone.
Another issue in our relationship was our intimacy. I was not as physical with my husband as he wanted me to be which led to frustrations on his part and disappointment and disconnection on mine. I couldn’t get a hug from him to be comforted, without him being sexual with me. I could no longer imagine to have family with this man. I knew that I would not be able to look into my children’s eyes and tell them that their dad is the love of my life.
I decided that the best thing for both of us would be to separate as a couple and remain best friends and business partners. While I can’t deny that Freddy was devastated by my decision, it was not true that he had to leave to his home town in Canada. I told him that our house was big enough for both of us. We had two separate bedrooms. I offered him that I would help him to get through the changes and that I would not be the first one to date other people if he decides to stay. I wanted him to be happy and I wanted us to keep growing BodyRock.Tv.
He decided to leave me in Los Angeles and went back to his home town in Canada with his family. I was fine with that and I have to say that I felt relieved and was excited for the new beginnings. Freddy and I were in touch every day and talked about BodyRock.Tv and how we are going to continue as business partners. We agreed on bringing in other girls as hosts of the workout videos. However my idea of hiring a camera guy to shoot my workout videos was denied by my husband. No one was allowed to shoot videos of me. That’s why you could see me doing only short intros to the workouts having my camera on tripod. I was also doing some nutrition and diet posts, but I felt very limited by not having anyone to help me. We were both feeling overwhelmed by the change, because we were used to working together and we were very good at working together.
Things got very tough when his new girlfriend Lisa Marie came to the picture. While I thought that him having a new girlfriend, a person that will be there for him, will make things a lot easier, I was wrong. Up until then, we were friends, partners and we were getting along. If you were following BodyRock.Tv back then you must have noticed that I have basically vanished right after her very first post. In December 2011, Freddy’s attitude towards me changed completely. He became incredibly mean, he denied me an access to BodyRock.Tv and all the social media we’ve build together. Since I had no access to our Canadian business account, and owned only 49% of the company, I was relying on him to pay me monthly dividends. My future was completely in his hands. When I asked for my dividends he told me to first sign a non-compete agreement. What that means is that I wouldn’t be allowed to ever have my own fitness blog or to ever do a workout video online. I felt like I was being controlled again and threatened on top of that. It was never my intension to leave BodyRock.Tv. I was forced to leave to keep my independence and dignity. He told me to lawyer up and the last email I got from him stated exactly this: “I want you to sell the company car that your mom is using. Aww, isn’t it horrible that your mom that has nothing won’t even have the car?” That my friends right there was the end of our friendship. I couldn’t believe it. Of course I did not sell the car and my mom still has it.
What happened next is that he wrote a post on BodyRock.Tv that would portray me as a bad person that betrayed him in every possible way. He wrote that he was being forced and manipulated to write the post about us breaking up. That was the post with the picture of us sitting on the front step of the house in West Hollywood. Just to let you know, nobody was forcing him to write what he did. While I was pushing for him to post the truth about us not being a couple, he wanted to write it in his own words and told me not to let anyone know that I left him. I was fine with that.
At that time, I decided that I will not give up and that I will continue doing what I love and he or nobody else will ever stop me. I contacted Darren from Watch it now entertainment, explained him the entire situation and asked him if he wants to be my partner. We clicked as friends immediately and we were on the same page when it comes to fitness, blogging and my image as a trainer. I got hired by his company and got my work visa instantly. After that, you know the story. We started shooting ZWOWs and I tried to get back on my feet. I can never thank Darren and his team at Watch It Now Entertainment enough, who all helped me when I had absolutely nothing. I am also forever thankful to my boyfriend who stood by me the entire time and gave me the kind of love and home that I have always dreamed off.
I filed for divorce in January 2012, however I am still waiting for the divorce to happen, because my husband is way too power hungry and wants my 49% of BodyRock.Tv which he thinks is worth his signature on our divorce papers and nothing more. I was also threatened by a letter from his lawyer that I might be deported back to Czech Republic if I won’t stop doing ZWOWS and sign the non-compete agreement with BodyRock.Tv. I guess he assumed that I didn’t get my visa.
I have received way more abuse from him in the form of online bullying. He said so many bad things about me on his Facebook and other social media and I have never stood up for myself. For some weird reason I thought that he is really not that kind of person and that maybe he’s just very hurt that I left him. I thought that he is being like that because he’s probably suffering. Now it got to the point that I am hundred percent certain that all that crap he writes about me is his cover up to justify the fact that he took everything from me and have been actively trying to destroy my career and my online presence. Here he is again with another post trying to hurt me. He didn’t take the most important part of me though–my faith, love, and will power.
Private Member |
wow finally i find you.. you are the best. I never liked that new girl. She will never be like you. I’m glad i found you. I do believe everything you said because i followed all your videos back then. I’m glad your are doing fine and found the true love. Also it is true that the videos look sometimes kind of too sexy….I understand perfectly. I used to think wow he doesn’t care about her look how he is showing her…..yep.
Private Member |
Greetings from Finland Zuzana!
I know you get a lot of messages, and probably won’t even notice this one, but I felt compelled to write this.
I’m a long time admirer (in lack of a better word. Since I’m a Finn, my english is as rusty as it can be) and I really have to tip my hat to you! You’ve accomplished so much and you’ve managed to stay positive and keep your head (not selling your principles for money).
I followed bodyrock for quite some time when you were actively involved in it. At some point in time, I was disappointed in the change of it’s direction along the lines ‘This is so great, but why is this starting to lean towards getting more male viewers by concentrating on cleavage and butts all of a sudden?”.
Up untill this very day I just thought that you got tired of bodyrock and started doing ZWOWs under a new brand. Oh boy how wrong was I.
Instead of taking sides or bashing anyone, I wan’t to wholeheartedly congratulate you! You, Suzana, are an inspiration for many of us, in so many ways. You cast faith in many of us and have bravely proven that switching careers, keeping your head, rebuilding life and getting over really hurtfull personal situations can be done.
I wish you the best of luck in life and once again, thank you for being an example and inspiration to many of us!
Private Member |
I was looking for bodyrock and when I found It and I didn’t see you , I didn’t like or want it , I wanted you . I like you as a Trainer ! I am so sorry for what happened to you , I hope all is well now and that you are in a direction that brings you to where you want to be .
Glad I found you .
Private Member |
Zuz,
I am so incredibly proud of you for writing this post!
I also took issue with Freddy’s, uhm, artistic direction. I wanted you would rise above that sleaze.
And, as I watched you retake your dignity, I thought of people that I met in the Czech Republic. You, my dear, speak so well for the spirit of them. No matter what devastation or take over comes your way, you survive and thrive!
Kéž byste být navždy silný!
Deone
Private Member |
Wow, I had always wondered what had happened to you. Now I know.
Private Member |
that’s sad . . . what a douchebag !!!
I thought you were single again . . . my dreams are crushed again but anyways I’ll still love you like the third batman movie . . . FOREVER !!!
Private Member |
Zuzuka,
In all the time i’ve been following you and BodyRock, I’ve never actually commented on anything. But now is the time.
I discovered BodyRock back in 2011 and I was instantly addicted. Your videos got me on my first ever fitness grind and into the best shape of my life. I was healthy, tan and strong as i’ve ever been (inside and out).
Then, came the breakup… And just like hundreds and hundreds of other people, I didnt know what was really happening – just that workouts on BodyRock weren’t the same anymore… I continued to try to do my own HIIT workouts, but couldn’t find as much motivation as I had been.
Life happened, time passed, so on and so on. For months…well years now actually, I would still sometimes go on to the BodyRock website but like so many others was just getting disgusted with the pornographic nature of the videos, promotion of body modification, etc. No need to go on and on.
I still try to do my little HIIT workouts, but they just aren’t the same. Its almost laughable (unless your me 🙂 ) but I cant actually afford $10/months to support what you’re doing now, but I wanted to offer my support through words. I sincerely send all my light and love your way. I really appreciate you and all you do and all you stand for. At some point, I thought it was just the free workouts that I loved about BodyRock, but over time I’ve realized it was so much more.
Thank you for being you and doing all you do. Thank you for your transparency, your perseverance and your beautiful will.
You put off such a bright light into the lives of so many people. Here’s to being your best self – even when it seems impossible.
Private Member |
lake tahoe, nv, usa
Thank you Courtney, I really appreciate your words of support.
Private Member |
Good for you, Zuzka… I first met you on bodyrock TV and always wondered what exactly happened.
Private Member |
Love your workouts, your personality, everything about you. You didn’t deserve this. You are a strong person. Much love.
Private Member |
I’m so impressed with you Zuzana. You are truly inspiring, I think that fact that you are working and moving forward from such a difficult painful moment is amazing. You have been really involved in my fitness previously but as far as inspiring as a person or emotionally this is a different side of you I haven’t connected with. I feel much closer to you after following some of this problems in your life. I think we all go through things that seem insurmountable. Just taking a few small steps forward is the hardest thing for me in those moments. I think you are doing a wonderful thing sharing something so difficult in your life with people who are really struggling also.
I was really shocked I couldn’t find you when everything happened. I am also really happy about your change in the new blog. I love your workouts but I was really shy to show you to others because of the extreme sexual nature. I love that its still sexy and fun. I think it does inspire women especially to be confident and motivated for there future but its not so much that is shocking or demeaning to your or your viewers.
I’d really like to thank you for what you have done in my life. I want to give you hope and let you know that there are many people who are behind you. You can do hard things. I know that because the women I’ve gotten to know is very special and has amazing potential. Opportunities will open again and again for you.
Something that has really been inspiring for me is that strong people just keeping walking forward no matter how slowly they have to move at times. They aren’t sprinting constantly through life overcoming one thing after another. Everyone has hard times a little forward movement is absolutely perfect. Your happiness is not dependent on anyone else. Every mistake is a step in the right direction. As long as your looking forward mistakes and set backs are invaluable. I hope this has helped you. I am so grateful for your influence in my life. I would really like to be some support to you when I can.