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When Perfection is a Problem
Health | August 04, 2015
I recently discussed plastic surgery on my recent coffee talk and it really had me thinking about our growing obsession with perfection, especially as it relates to our physical appearances. Too often now I see so many women nitpicking every little perceived flaw in their physical appearance to the point of anxiety and depression. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s no wonder that body dysmorphic disorders (BDD) are on the rise.
BDD is type of anxiety disorder where people focus on a perceived flaw or imperfection with their physical appearance. It could be as general as their body shape or skin to something incredibly specific like their chin or ears or elbows. Individuals suffering from BDD simply can’t let it go either. Their days are consumed fixating on their perceived imperfections. This fixation mutates into an intense negative self-image and can also lead to severe depression. Worse, the disorder can lead to thoughts of suicide as the anxiety grows and grows with little hope of change.
Most of us accept our physical flaws with a smile and a giggle and simply move on. We understand that no one is perfect except with the generous help of great lighting and photoshop :). We also understand that these little imperfections are what actually make us unique.
Still, there are some who simply can’t let their physical imperfections go. They exhaust all amounts of resources trying to fix what, ultimately, can’t be fixed by any doctor or mirror – how they view themselves. Once in a while, I’ll see someone profiled online or on television who has had so much plastic surgery that they no longer look human and I say that out of sympathy more than anything else. It’s really sad to see someone go to such great lengths only to still be anxious and unhappy. I had my own experience with self image issues when I was younger and I have received a comment about that on my Youtube channel a while ago that asked if I wish I were able to change my perspective of myself before I decided to go for the surgery and if I would still go that far about other image issue now or would changing perspective save me from that decision to go under knife again. Here’s my answer:
“I had my surgery when I was 25 years old because I wasn’t happy and I was obsessing about a particular part of my body. I haven’t had those thoughts ever since I went for the operation so I guess I solved the problem. Unfortunately it’s not always a good solution for everyone. It’s the same when some people think they’ll be finally happy if they make a lot of money, and when that happens they realize that more money did not bring them more happiness or made them calmer. So to answer your question, I do not regret my decision, because I’m healthy, had no complications and I’m happy with the results. That said, I realize it could have gone wrong. I was very young when I made that decision. Now that I’m older I tent to consider every possible scenario so maybe I wouldn’t make the same decision today, but again, I don’t know because I can’t judge since I’m not in the situation.”
It’s not easy to deal with these issues and it’s not always easy to make the right decisions when you’re trapped by your own negative thoughts and emotions. Clearing that up by going to therapy or frequent meditation, before making any big decisions such as a surgery should be the first step in my opinion.
When I discuss fitness and wellbeing, getting in shape, losing weight, etc., it’s all about growth from the inside out. Of course, looking good is important, but it’s so much more than that! It’s about feeling good, challenging ourselves and others, and being a role model to those around us.
Perfection is a myth and a great way to feed anxiety even depression. What we should aim for is striving to be the best possible version of you, warts and all as they say!
Have you struggled with trying to be perfect with your appearance and otherwise? Please share your stories!
Private Member |
I have a question for Zuzka and the ZGym members. What is the opinion on birth control? I take estrogen/progestin pills and I wonder if this makes it more difficult to get lean. Does anyone else know anything about this? Do I need to ditch the birth control or try another method? Thanks!
Private Member |
pilot butte, saskatchewan, canada
I had to come off the combined pill as I had severe migraines and this could have led to a higher risk of stroke! I tried the pill with only one hormone, but it made my pre diagnosed heart condition worse. I was advised to go on Beta Blockers, but I decided to come off the pill to see if that would work, as that’s what my instincts told me…. well it worked! After much research I got the copper IUD, I didn’t want any artificial hormones. It has been great! I won’t lie, very painful to have put in, but very worth it. I didn’t even realize it was an option for an IUD if you have not had kids, I was wrong. I would recommend to anyone.
Private Member |
The medical opinion on your oral contraceptive combination pill is that it should actually help make you look leaner since it keeps you from retaining water in your cells. That said, everyone’s different. When it comes to contraception, thankfully a lot of women are well-informed nowadays and make up their own mind in terms of what’s good for them. I was on an oestrogen/progestin pill for 10 years with no side effects….I thought. Then I switched to Nuva Ring and my heavy mood swings stopped entirely. Some of my girl friends said that they dealt with emotional swings too when on the pill.
@Nikki: my sister LOVED the IUD as well! But yeah, hurts like a mofo to have inserted!
Private Member |
Honestly, I think the reason for so much infertility among women these days is birth control use for years and years. It takes several years for your body to adjust after coming off birth control to concieve. Plus other health complications like blood clots, which happened to a good friend of mine and her doctors immediately took her off birth control. Probably not the answer you are looking for but just my 2 cents 🙂
Private Member |
Our imperfections are what makes us unique. Stay “real” and true to yourself.
Private Member |
I know that as long as Im not miserable when looking in the mirror (and im not as im working out everyday!) and a long as my partner supports me and makes me feel like a woman ALL THE TIME, I am perfect 😀
Private Member |
Hi Z I found the coffee talk and article interesting. I’ve always been flat-chested, but in the last couple of years I’ve gotten even smaller. It happened when I went backpacking for 4 months in South East Asia and India. I lost a lot of weight and while everywhere else went back to normal, my chest didn’t . I kept thinking it would, and that my hormones must have gone out of whack or something, but it’s been 2 years now and no change. Well, I’ve gained more pecs (an area I could always build muscle easily). It’s been bugging me because shirts and bras just don’t fit right. I don’t even need a bra for support, I use them for padding so that it looks like I’ve got something. I’ve been thinking about surgery, but I can’t afford it at the moment, and I’m still not convinced it’s something I really want to do. It’s a big decision to make.
Private Member |
zuzka, I am writing you because I followed you from bodyrock, and all transformation and change zuzka, and you have always inspired me. worse I can not help but share my delusion, perhaps because putting all the effort and sacrifice puedolograr not even close to the body I want. and as you were posting a lot of self-image and criticism about yourself, sometimes you feel that having many attributes and 18 always being in the same body in the last or maybe more, it is difficult to understand those who have not been blessed that and struggle with the mirror. but with a metabolism that recently also with the settings, I wish I could get in and out of diets like you, impossible, hardly I recover from my problems of irritable colon and the permanent feeling of being bloated, nevertheless the last five years no I miss practice workouts, hoping to someday achieve
Private Member |
Hi, Zuzka. I have over the past three years following your video, and I achieved the desired results in all but one. The problem appeared after pregnancy and childbirth. I had a misalignment of the pelvis. I can’t lean forward by bending the hips, because one leg is slightly longer other. I can’t stretch the gluteal muscles by lying – to push the right leg to the stomach, and the right side of the pelvis is raised above the floor. I have no symmetry in the squats and deadlift, and that’s why I can’t use heavy weight in workouts. But I’m too thin and want too put some muscles… Orthopedists do not see this problem x – rays showed nothing. Chiropractor a few times put the pelvis in place, but the problem returned. I don’t know who to do, because it’s very bed for my lumbar spine and hip joints. Training is my life and work. And I feel very depressive when I can’t do some exercises, and show them correctly to clients. Please, give me some tips. It’s not about perfection, but my friends don’t understand me. They say that I invent a problem, because I look good:(
Private Member |
I am 44 years (still…), have got three lovely children and therefore received a lot of stripes due to the pregnancies. I struggled a lot with them but one day I totally changed my view:
First: This was a low price for my healthy and wonderful children.
Second: I once (maybe a year ago or two) looked in the mirror and recognized that these stripes also look kind of sexy as they make me looking more curvy than I actually am. (I swear that I never looked at them in this way.)
It took me a long time to accept who and how I am, what I am able to change and what I just should take as it is.
We will all get older and finally “loose” the fight against the nature. But this is not bad. It doesn’t mean that we should not try to reach goals – opposite. But for me personally it is no option to have a surgery or to risk my health. Life is more than being perfect or not. I totally agree with you, Zuzka, to develop all your potential, not just outside but much more inside.
Some of the problems we have with our appearance or shape come from a lack in a completely different part in our life. Some of us have a certain desire and cannot point it out clearly enough to feed it, so they start just focusing on their body and face instead of the way they treat their minds.
I am sure you are all lovely persons and deserve to be lucky. Try to accept who you are, what you went through in your past and love yourself first. Stop fight against yourself and make peace with you instead. Then – I am sure – you will be much luckier and more satisfied to learn to simply enjoy your individual life.
Private Member |
perth, wa, australia
Thanks Zuzka, this is why I love your site- your attitude towards health and fitness is much more balanced than some others (and you have the most killer fun workouts to back them up). Working out and eating a healthy (works for YOUR body) diet improves our whole physical system including brains, nerves, organs and muscles. It also requires to swim against the two or more different streams – in particular the “just workout to get the perfect body, nothing else is important but how you look” camp and the “yea eat healthy but first eat these buckets of sugar and salt coated lab experiments that everyone is eating” camp….I am so glad healthy mindsets are gaining a larger and larger voice. The next mindset shift I would love to see in society is the doing away of the illusion of ownership and “I deserve my place in society”. We are all given this earth to care for it and one another. If someone is given more of something because of their social lottery I think it is their responsibility to share this. Enough of the superiority complexes. Once upon a time of we didn’t share we died, now we are under the illusion that if we don’t share it doesn’t matter. But that’s not true, if we don’t share responsibly then people die every second. We’ve just cushioned ourselves so well that we have either ignorance or a lack of courage to do something about it. Anyway, slight tangent.
Thanks for your work. It’s not always easy to go against the grain, but it’s worth it.
Private Member |
Hi Zuzka!
I have followed you on and off for the last 4 years. I always see the best results with you 🙂
Though I am on struggle street, I have never had this before and I am starting to suspect there may be other things at play.
Long story short as I can
Was incredibly fit and happy swimming coach, working out with you, following your guidance, nutrition was good.
I joined the Army and was doing well for a short while, but lost fitness from just running all the time… in fact i gained weight
from the stress and lack of strength exercises….But i became a better runner.
Left the army months ago and have seen little to no change in my weight. I happy none stressed, sleep well and I have gone to being like I was before I joined the army, eating well and exercise… though no results.
for the last three weeks I have resorted to using replacement shakes twice a day, eating only one meal. I know this is not the greatest way, but I am desperate to narrow down what is going on with my body… and still after 3 weeks of intense shake diets… I put on weight! haha!
My question is… Do you have (or anyone else is Z’s forum) have any suggestion to shock my body to start again!
Im 25, I’m reasonably fit, and my downfalls are portion sizes and probably salts. I just want 5kg gone and it wont budge.
I really appreciate anyones reply! I know this is something we all hear about often.
Sam
Private Member |
lake tahoe, nv, usa
Hey Sam!
It seems to me that you know your answer. You said you’re eating healthy, you exercise and do quite a bit of strength training and you’re really young. You also said that your downfalls are your portion sizes, which could be actually the whole root of this problem. I get it, because if anything I too have the only issue with portion size control. It’s possible to overeat, binge and gain weight even if you eat really healthy. If you get more energy in, than your body can burn, of course it will result in weight gain. Check out my guide to portion sizes and try to stick to it for couple weeks. Good luck and let me know how is it going!
Private Member |
Very interesting writing. What it comes as a surprise to me is that i always consider you one of the most beautiful and perfect women of the world I have seen your pictures since you were fairly young and I would have never guess, that something was wrong and have to be fixed. Wow the human mind and nature never cease to amaze me.