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What Kind of Super Hero are You?
Fitness | August 20, 2016
A few weeks ago I had a day when I didn’t feel very good about myself. I like to stay as positive as I can and usually feel calm and confident. But we all have bad days. Have you ever had a day like that? A day where you sat on your couch feeling sorry for yourself and making a list in your head of all the ways you’ve failed? Maybe you got into an unexpected and stressful situation and you reacted badly. Maybe you treated someone poorly or acted out of selfish motivation. Maybe you tried really hard to do something and still didn’t make the cut. Maybe someone hurt your feelings and you felt misunderstood and alone.
Whatever the reason, when we feel hurt it’s easy to fall down the self pitying rabbit-hole. But on that day when I was down, I remembered an article I had read online. It was all about finding your inner superhero and it really helped me see the situation in a different light. In fact, it helped me so much that I’d like to share the basic idea with you.
Step 1. Discover Your Superpowers
The first step to becoming a superhero is identifying and celebrating your special strengths/powers. Here’s a great list (scroll to the bottom of the linked article for the list) of character strengths that can be a good jumping off point. Read the items over carefully and then jot down the ones that best describe you. If there’s something that occurs to you but isn’t on the list, write that down too! There are no rules.
Step 2. Spotting Where You SHINE
The next step to becoming a superhero is to think of some situations or challenges where you really felt supremely confident, in control, and in the zone. The try to link your superpower list to how you handled the situation.
For example, let’s say that you’re thinking of the last time your strong willed two-year-old threw a mega fit in a very crowded grocery store. First, using your steel-like self-regulation and level-headed perspective, you didn’t freak out when she laid down on the filthy floor kicking and screaming and blocking the aisle to all other annoyed shoppers. Secondly, you used your amazing creativity to make up a game on the spot that captured her attention and got her off the floor and quieted. You then used your spot-on social intelligence and graciously apologized to the other store patrons that were waiting in the aisle. Finally, using your boundless love and excellent humor, you laughed with and enjoyed your daughter as she hopped from green floor square to green floor square getting you both quickly, happily, and quietly to the check out counter. When you got home your daughter bragged to your husband that, “Mommy makes up the funnest games”. Because you were brave and persistent you turned a bad situation into a good one. You were a good role model to your daughter. You also got home with the groceries, haha. And you felt like a superhero, didn’t you?
Step 3. Using Your Powers to Turn Evil into Good
Now that you’ve identified your strengths, how can they help you in situations where you don’t feel so super? Think about a time when you failed or had a poor reaction. Now try to re-imagine the event where you used your superpowers instead of giving into your weaknesses. Can you picture a better outcome? When we suck at something we tend to feel helpless. But we aren’t, not really. We can always find some way to draw from our strengths. I think that simply listing and remembering what you’re good at and good at doing – giving your strengths literal, written down names – gives them more power. If you feel down, going over your superpower list can lift your spirits. If you feel frustrated or stuck, remembering what you’re super at can help you reframe the situation and hopefully have a better result.
Also, finding places and activities where our superpowers are particularly evident or welcome is so uplifting and empowering. If you’re incredibly organized and social, throw parties for people. If you crave extreme physical challenges and discomfort, sign up for one of those mud races. If you love order and long-term projects launch a total home reorganization or help a friend (you’re welcome at my house anytime, haha!). If you’re patient, loving, hard-working, and creative maybe try signing up for some volunteer work in your community.
The more we flex out superpowers the stronger they become. And remembering how super you truly are can help you apply your powers to situations where you feel helpless or out of control.
So, what kind of superhero are you?
Private Member |
czech republic
You are my hero, no matter what. We all have bad days, I usually cant stand when people misinterpret something I said. I hate lies and half-truths. This hurts me so easily and then I can easily end up with doubts about myself though I know what I’m capable of and how many great things I´ve done. People’s words are sometimes so powerful… and I hate the state they put me in.
Private Member |
aliso viejo, ca
I agree! Zuzka is my superhero!
Private Member |
bulgaria
Thank you for the article! It’s very helpful, especially in those poor moments when you feel lost… and all alone… :/ When i get in this situation I imagine your workouts and the harder exercise and when I am able to do it, I realise i beat my personal record 🙂
Private Member |
This comment reminded me of when I was having my baby and the doctor was telling me to push for 10 seconds over & over, and I honestly thought in that moment of hiit workouts hahaha.
Private Member |
Got any tips on break ups 🙁 ? Its been a whole year for me and it still feels like a fresh wound and the love that i have for my ex is still overwhelming.
Thanks <3
Private Member |
Nice article. I am always very hard on myself & it’s something I have been working on. My husband says nobody ever needs to criticize me because I am already so hard on myself. 🙂 I try to work on it because I don’t want to teach my daughter to beat herself up when she’s not good at something. I realize now that this was something I developed through learned behavior and that made me very susceptible to others taking advantage of me. I am now luckily in a wonderful & healthy relationship with a partner who is supportive, doesn’t take advantage of my kindness, and is appreciative of me and all I have to offer. 🙂
Private Member |
Super Duper… love this!!
Private Member |
sydney, nsw, australia
Thank you for such an inspiring and uplifting post Z. It was a very powerful exercise reminding myself of all my strengths. At the same time I’m a bit sad…it’s sad that I have so many super powers but I lack some ‘bravery’ and have too much self-doubt in my abilities to make me shine brighter in the world. It would be nice to be more fearless and to not hold back so much. Any tips on that?
Private Member |
I am not sure, if this helps but I have a “negative motivation ” for you: usually when people hold back they don’t want to make a mistake or lose something. But if you now think about what you lose by not doing something, then you will see, that this “opportunity cost ” is very high. So by holding you back you don’t actually prevent losing. you lose an opportunity by not doing it.
Also I would really try to find the reasons behind it.so why are you holding back? Is it that you think that mistakes are irreversible catastrophes? If so, Maybe you need to work on the way you see mistakes.
Best,
W.
Private Member |
sydney, nsw, australia
Hi W,
Thank you for your insight and advice. For me, it’s not really being afraid of failing or making mistakes, it’s more about not believing in myself. It’s more the feeling, “ya, they can own a successful business, but I could never do it” kind of feeling. It’s that “I’m not good enough,” self-doubt kind of feeling. Even though, rationally I can see that I do have many strengths that should enable me to be more successful.
Private Member |
usa
I had series of events last week that brought out my superhero powers. Learning to control my temper has taken years. Sometimes I still snap but nowadays I try to think first before reacting. The outcome always feels better and ends better.
I like this exercise about writing down my strengths. I haven’t done that in a long while. Like they say, everybody’s good at something.
Private Member |
Thank you Zuzka for sharing this great article! You are a very inspiring Superhero!
Private Member |
Im a Classic Mexican women. But now i live in Usa so most of my traditions are very quite. I do have a son with special needs Im very proactive mother i changing a lote a things for better. I love my son and I love to feel this new lifestyle with exercises, good food, good thoughts, and good people like Zuska. Is being hard for me cause i was never as Im today. Is a challenge for me. I need to prove myself. Im doing it. Im in a good path. FOR ME …… FOR MY SON..