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Fitting Out
Health | May 28, 2017
I’m sure that you’ve heard the phrase, “fitting in”. Someone who fits in can be described as someone who blends into a crowd. Someone who looks and acts like the people they’re surrounded with. Someone who doesn’t make waves or draw attention to themselves. It’s someone who doesn’t stand out for any particular reason.
Many, many people devote large chunks of time, energy, and precious resources to fitting in. Lots of us feel a very strong drive be accepted and liked by our friends and peers. And, of course, we all want to be loved and respected. And good relationships are worth investing in. But the fear of not fitting in is similar to FOMO; fear of missing out. I’m sure we can all relate to that particular fear, that stab of hurt and anger when you learn a group of friends has done something fun without inviting you along. Or the feeling of resentment when you’re passed over for a promotion or missed out on a good career opportunity because someone else was chosen.
And when negative things like that happen, the questions can begin swirling. Why didn’t they invite me? Why didn’t they pick me? Maybe I need better clothes or a better car. Maybe my social media posts are annoying. Maybe I said something that offended someone. Maybe I need to go out more and drink more and go out to eat with everyone all the time. Maybe I’m boring or weird. Maybe I should try to fly under the radar more. What can I do, how should I be, to fit in better?
But what if you put your brain on mute for a second and really considered the actual value of fitting in? To be just like everyone else? To do the same things and wear the same things and say the same things as everyone else? Where and what is the value in that? I suppose maybe it wouldn’t be a very challenging life. You might be able to avoid feeling uncomfortable sometimes. But that’s about it.
What if instead of putting so much energy into fitting in, you focused that drive on finding out what YOUR goals and passions are and took steps towards achieving the same? (And this is where I really relate to this material.) I, personally, am very proud to be my authentic self. I don’t devote all of my time and energy to fitness because it’s what everyone else is doing. I’ve dedicated my life to this because it’s my personal passion and because it’s what makes me, ME. I don’t do what other people do at dinner time and order pizza. I take time to make a delicious, nutritious dinner from whole, unprocessed foods and develop my extensive recipe collection on my website. When it comes to exercise I don’t do what a lot of other people do and work out for 3 weeks in January because I made a New Year’s resolution. I devote time every day to moving my body and increasing my personal fitness. I’m don’t want to work for a big faceless company and punch a clock every day. I have a real fire for building and developing my own business and helping people. And I have a feeling that if you’re reading this, you can relate to these feelings too.
When you focus on what you want and need to do and work very hard at it, you become way more than just a small part of a group. You become an extraordinary individual. Someone who doesn’t fit in.
Sometimes it can be tough to do your own thing. If all your friends are going out to get drinks and Chinese food, it might feel isolating to choose to stay home to work out and eat your sautéed chicken with arugula, strawberries, chicken, and blue cheese (yum!).
It might feel embarrassing when people make fun of you for trying something out of the norm, like postural therapy, personal growth exercises, going to bed early, probiotics, oil pulling, whatever.
But those might be the choices that move you toward your most authentic self and the extraordinary individual that you are becoming. It’s your job to tune out the noise of other’s negativity and your own fears of being left out.
Trying to be like everyone else seems like a recipe for unhappiness.
What do you think? Do you want to be like everyone else? Or do you want to be special and passionate? Do you want to excel? Do you want to always be learning and growing? Do you want to be strong and independent? Do you want to “fit out”?
What kinds of things do you do in your every day life that might belong to the “fitting out” category? Have you ever felt pressure to fit in? Have you ever tried to fit in and felt unhappy? As always, I’d love to hear what you think about this concept. Do you find it motivating? Think it’s mumbo jumbo? Let me know in the comments!
Private Member |
I appreciate this also because my lifestyle is definitely different from family and friends but I’ve learned not to care. I stay low carb, workout everyday, don’t really like to drink, and go to bed early. I am a full time student and couldn’t manage without this consistent lifestyle. I am so thankful for zgym and Zuzka’s healthy recipes! 🙂
Private Member |
st. peter, minnesota, usa
I have never fit in. Right from elementary school I was headstrong about being myself. I endured a lot of pushback from others, which I always chocked up to them being too afraid to be different; people bold enough to be themselves make them uncomfortable.
Now I’m almost 42, and I am still not fitting in! Sometimes it feels tiring to always be noticed (my orange hair and stretched piercings have that effect) but I wouldn’t be happy if I had to conform my appearance or my life style (or even my property, lol, if you drive by my house it is obvious that I like rocks).
Anyway, I hope others can benefit from Zuzka’s post. It may be especially helpful for younger people (I had my nonconformist family members to guide me).
Private Member |
tx
This is probably the best post yet! I feel as if you were speaking directly to me. I never fit in, even as a kid. I was teased for wearing glasses or being too skinny and it followed all the way to high school. Even now as an adult I find myself trying to fit in with a crowd or trying to find friends to fit in with. After reading this post, I am now going to FIT OUT!
Thank you for the encouragement.
Kim
Private Member |
I don’t get any flack about how I eat and not drinking. I live in New York so when I go out it’s for the music. As far as behavior goes, I’m glad about being polite and smart, because if I acted like most people from New York I’d be a piece of trash lol.
Private Member |
As always, this is an inspirational message, and I agree with some of the others saying it gets easier being who you are the older you get. I like the concept of being one’s authentic self; that resonates with me. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet: to thine own self be true,and it must follow, as the night the day,Thou canst not then be false to any man. Such wise words and Zuzka says it well. Be our authentic selves. Really a spot on and I thank you so much!
Private Member |
Well ain’t that just the damn truth?! Life isn’t about “fitting in”. It’s about doing YOU and doing what makes you happy rather than doing things to appease the crowd. I am absolutely all about fitting out! Whether it comes to my diet and nutrition or my exercise, everything I do is out of the box. That’s one reason why I’m so grateful for zgym, because you help me express creativity through fitness! It’s no doubt taken me time to accept the fact that I’m different than everyone around me, especially when it comes to my nutrition. Explaining to people why I don’t go out to eat often or why I prefer to cook at home can be a tedious task, and it seriously has taken me years to finally be okay with it. But I’ve definitely accepted it, and EMBRACE it; and it’s honestly so liberating when you do! I love who I am and all my quirkiness. You only live once, why spend your time worrying about what others think?! Just do you! 🙂
Private Member |
Totally agree and often feel like a “weirdo”. I’m a total homebody who loves nothing more than to hang out with my family, workout, eat healthy, and stay home. And go to bed at 10. My longtime friend visited last night from out of town and said “I remember when we were 16 I’d have to twist your arm to go to parties!” That’s just me. And Ive learned to accept it and not feel bad. I’d rather take my kid to the park than ditch him with a babysitter and hang out with people I don’t even really like. Good article 😊
Private Member |
Great Post!! Every word I read sounded like yourself ( also because, for some reason, I was listening to your awesome accent while I was reading it) … I have to say Congratulations!! Because you achieved something that many people are searching for.. Basically live life by being yourself, the best version… so again Zuzka it was very inspiring to read this post, I feel less alone in the process of finding what you already found. I guess I just had to join your awesome Zgym and start my own fitness goals.
Regards!
Private Member |
I am using this as a reminder every day as people at work can be soooo childish..at every single age. I really need it as I am afraid I am going to lash out in the future as it can become too much sometimes. It doesn’t really hurt, it mostly frustrates. But it still lingers in your mind.