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Is Talking About "Fat Shaming" OK?
Health | April 09, 2015
I’ve been noticing growing trends such as #fatshaming and #bodyacceptance that keep insisting that anyone who states that being overweight or obese is dangerous gets automatically labeled a body bully. That’s like a smoker or an alcoholic accusing someone of being mean because they are being told that smoking and excessive drinking is killing them. Unfortunately, these are just plain facts. I’m not saying that “fat shaming” or bullying of any type is okay, everybody has different genetics and all healthy bodies should be accepted and loved. However, I don’t ever want to be an enabler that encourages bad, even deadly, habits just to be pleasant and avoid the truth of the matter.
When it comes to fat shaming, and I know this is an old article, but I agree with Jennifer Lawrence, I don’t think you should ever use the word “fat” as an insult to hurt someone’s feelings, being “fat” is a relative term and I feel like every one of us could potentially be considered “fat”. If you compare your legs to someone else’s legs, and they’re larger, someone could say you’re “fatter” than them. I’ve dealt with my fair share of body bullying myself with people saying that I’m too muscular and so on.
On the other hand I think that “fat shaming” getting a lot of attention in the media could be considered a good thing because it helps starts conversations about obesity. Obesity, is a killer that can and should be avoided. That doesn’t mean that I don’t sympathize and understand the struggles involved in being overweight. Of course I do, I’ve heard a lot of people say that when it comes to weight loss, losing weight is hard and gaining weight is easy. This battle with obesity is not a pleasant one, it’s challenging and sometimes embarrassing to talk about, but the solution is education, determination and a strong support system.
Speaking of truth and education… lets go over some facts regarding obesity. Women are 93 times more likely to develop Type II diabetes with a body max index (BMI) of 35 or higher compared to women whose BMI is 22 or lower (A BMI of 30 or higher is considered obese according to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute). Obesity is related to a bunch of cardiovascular illnesses as well. From stroke to heart disease to high blood pressure, obesity is the major cause of these avoidable illnesses. In fact, the leading cause of death in women is heart disease!
I think one of the most terrible aspects of obesity is not just the physical toll it takes on an individual, but the mental and emotional suffering it causes. Researchers have long known that obesity shares a terrible relationship with depression. Obese individuals have a 55% higher risk of developing depression. Ironically enough, people suffering from depression had a 58% higher risk of becoming obese. All the more reason that consistent exercise is vital to our wellbeing.
I know for many of you guys, reading about the dangers of obesity might be old news. Most of us are familiar with the idea that being overweight, especially severely overweight, is a danger to our health and being. Obesity has become so commonplace in this day and age, the media talks about it quite often, but you know what….. we need constant reminders about this until this problem is no longer a problem.
Sorry if I’m ranting but this really is a problem, even if none of this is new information for you, hopefully it still stands as a reminder to stay healthy and happy! I’ve received a lot of email from people recently that have friends and family members who are in desperate need of help due to their weight. I can only imagine how sad and frustrating that must be. I’m here to help, that’s why I love what I do at the ZGYM, I try to help inspire everyone to maintain a healthy, fit lifestyle on a daily basis.
If you or anyone you know struggles with being overweight, you’re not alone. Leave a comment below so myself and other members of the community can give our support!
Private Member |
seattle, washington
I’m of two minds about telling someone they are endangering themselves. I have been bullied and recently! Not about weight, but still it hurts and is childish. If you honestly think you can help a person by telling them something they very probably already know you should. Be tactful and kind.
Private Member |
I think you hit the nail right on the head, Chris! I’ve been struggling with how to help motivate my fiance for a few years now. But the thing of it is, it’s information he already knows and has access to. I try to encourage movement or activity of any kind, even just 5 pushups, but have to be careful to not come across condescending or judgmental. I remind myself to stay positive, stay kind, do everything with love. I mention ZGYM every chance I get, since the options and different workout levels are unmatched anywhere else. Thank you Z for being you and sharing your knowledge!
Private Member |
uk
Overweight people know they are overweight. They dont need to be told that. They will do something about it once they decide. Plus its not like they are the only ones who get sick. Plenty of slim people do too. Also weight loss is not always the best answer. You can lose weight thru calorie restriction and exercise and end up with damaged metabolism, hormones all over the place and barely functioning thyroid. Thats why most people who lose weight gain it all back at the end. So yes, healthy eating habits and plenty of physical activity should be encouraged however there shouldn’t be so much emphasis on weight itself.
Private Member |
lakewood, ohio, united states
There is ‘skinny shaming’ as well…….I am very petite, that’s just the bones I was given. But somehow everyone thinks it’s such a taboo to call someone ‘fat’ but telling someone they are ‘too skinny’ is supposedly acceptable. It’s just as disheartening, especially when I know that I am eating a healthy calorie intake and working out! That is why I love you Zuzka! Your workouts make me feel empowered and strong, because I PROMISE these people with the big mouths either about being too fat or too skinny, first need to remember the fingers pointing back at them.
As far as obesity, my Grandma suffers from Type II diabetes and watching her struggle through all the concurrent diseases that come along with no exercise and a bad diet, have been primary motivators to keep me on the right track. We should respect our bodies and take care of them so that they can work for us to have a better life quality for a long time! It’s hard for people to see the long run, but we will all age eventually, and if you can age gracefully while taking care of yourself and feel good about challenging yourself and your accomplishments, that sounds like real happiness 🙂
Private Member |
holland, pa
I think it’s all about where you’re coming from. Are you having an open and honest conversation bc you truly care about this person? Or are your intentions rooted in negativity and about bringing this person down to build yourself up? I’m all for trying to build others up by sharing information on my successes (personal, professional, etc) but ones true intentions have to be pure. That being said I shout to the rooftops how happy I am to have found Zuzka and this site! Hope everyone has a great day!!
Private Member |
pilot butte, saskatchewan, canada
Great article Zuzka, a subject very close to my heart for reason I can’t share publicly.
Private Member |
Love the article Zuzka. It’s a sensitive subject for many but to not discuss it only let’s the issue grow larger. Weight and/or body image is a struggle for everyone to some degree. I believe to accept where you are at right now and see where you should be going. Find your why and how, you can succeed.
Private Member |
I suffer from a defective gene called “good-and-damn-ready” which I’m trying to morph into “damn-good-and-ready”. Here is the thing from a woman who has been over-weight most of my life.
I have excuses that go back to my childhood from digestive issues relating to mono and my spleen to the giardia-parasite, to divorced parents and then followed by early death(s) of each of my parents. I also admit that my chosen profession (massage therapy) which I’ve been working on for nearly two decades may be a contributing factor as extra weight has helped prevent unwanted sexualization and solicitation of sexual favors by clients. ie. this is intimate work so, if you make yourself unattractive you don’t have to deal with getting hit on while you are trying to do your job (in hindsight, that’s what it seems like may have been in part what was going on) I share this story with you not to perpetuate the excuse making that has helped to keep me fat. The truth is, despite all the psychological work I’ve done, the myriad of smart people who have given me advise on how slim down and get fit along with reasons why is important. I’ve gone through fits and spurts of honest self-care, but mostly I’ve looked for outside distractions to relieve the pain. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom and realized that nobody is going to take care of me and this body except me. For me, reaching the conclusion that i am worthy of love and belonging and embracing this fact…every-single-day is the only thing that will keep me on the track to improved health. I have to learn to love my body and that means taking better care of it through diet and exercise, even if I don’t want to, because I’m scared, ashamed or lazy. I am making changes because I am worth it and I am worthy of love and belonging and not just because I’m learning to take better care of myself, just because, I am: Good. Enough.
When we have a low sense of self-worth, when we feel alone and abandoned we tend to self-succor with food and other vices that keep us from those feelings lonesomeness. Unfortunately it is those very habits that create the disconnection from self and others, the very opposite effect as what we we really want: connection, love and belonging.
The reason I am writing today in response to the fat shaming topic is this: I believe the conversation about obesity is important but I also think that fat shaming is a real and insidious social rejection mechanism. I can give you hundreds of examples where this happens everyday where people really are so “disgusted” by fat people, where people are so fearful of becoming like those fat people or that fat person that they think it is within their right to make a public example and mockery of that fat person and those fat people. For me this issue is as much personal as it is social and political (GMO’s, prepackaged, highly processes foods, lack of education and access to healthy food and how to afford both time and money as well as how to prepare natural foods) all play a part in the epidemic of obesity in the USA. We need to be talking more about this when trolls go on the prowl. Socially, mean-spirited-troll-like-people who lack empathy and are so disconnected from their own human experience that they seek out others to belittle and society supports that under the guise of creating a healthier society.
I agree that obesity is an epidemic and I’m grateful for kind and generous people like Zuzka who tell the truth even when the truth is brutal and still have enough respect and common sense to speak with compassion to the actual human experience, the scared, scarred, human experience.
I encourage you if you are concerned about a friends health because they are fat or using other self-sabotaging strategies to cope with life, try on the cloak of empathy and compassion. Love your friends and family (thick or thin) because you see the real them beyond the armor of fat that they cover themselves in to stay safe – we all have issues and unsophisticated coping mechanisms its just easier to see and therefore judge that fat persons coping strategy.
When they feel safe and loved and welcome, they will start seeking the resources to get healthier and feel better. It is natural cause and effect. Positive reinforcement of successes in any aspect of life can open worlds of possibility for a person who is ashamed and disconnected. Seeing the beauty in another despite their shape, size, or other physical expressions of the human experience is a powerful amplifier of well-wishing for anyone. When heartfelt love and honest welcoming is bestowed upon a person they can find the courage to let go of habits that are not supporting optimal health and developing new habits that support well being.
Now is the time in society to let go of the shaming and start the process of nourish each other on our journeys to be become the best we can be.
I am blessed to have friends in my life who witnesses the various transformations by body and mind have gone through in order to find my way to self-love and worthiness. It has been at times a painful, messy process. I am incredibly grateful for the love and support I have been given to uncover me and now I want to help myself let my beauty shine.
I only wish I would have let myself come to this conclusion and take action on that knowledge sooner. Yet, today is as good of day as any, to begin again. In conclusion on the topic of fat shaming:
There are many reasons people are fat and although it is possible to change the physical appearance through diet and exercise. These are short-term solutions to an even greater epidemic, disconnection.
If you really care, love a people just as they are and they will come ’round to their own personal “good-and-ready” place sooner rather than later, and this is how we can finally turn back the tide on the obesity epidemic along with the fear of becoming fat.
Private Member |
zagreb, croatia
Thank you for sharing..
I agree, disconnection is eating the human race, so humane race is eating itself.
I am grateful every single day, just like you, Renee, for having such great family and friends, especially my sisters. Even tho I am the one who got everybody moving and eating healthy (or at least healthier).
Love is the wright way. 🙂
Thank you again for sharing.
Private Member |
I agree whole heartedly. It’s one thing to love the body you’re in and be overweight, but it’s another thing to think you’re in good health and be overweight. you gotta. have both elements!
Private Member |
This is such a tough topic. Of course being overweight isn’t healthy and shouldn’t be encouraged. But there are so many factors that contribute to being overweight – it’s not just about the food we eat and the way we exercise. I really believe that those are just symptoms of our emotional state. A lot of overweight people know what it takes to lose weight, and it’s not for lack of self dicispline that they can’t do it – it’s because eating and being inactive (watching TV for example) provide an escape from reality and all the hardships that come with it. Everyone copes with difficult times differently – for some it’s food, for others sex or alcohol or drugs or exercise… Sometimes it isn’t possible to be physically healthy before we’ve taken care of our emotional well being, and fat shaming certainly isn’t going to improve anyones emotional state.
I think the whole body acceptance movement is really just a movement against the model industry glorifying the skinny body. There’s nothing wrong with being naturally slim and small boned, but not everyones’ genetics allow them the type of body that is portrayed as beautiful in todays society. While the whole “real women have curves” may be going too far in the other direction, I really believe it is so important that girls and women are taught that beauty is not synonomous with skinny – or curvy for that matter. And as someone who has struggled with eating disorders myself, I am so greatful for the shift that is starting to take place in the media.
Bottom line: we should all learn to love our selves for who we are and what we look like, and we should treat our bodies in whatever way is most loving. But chances are, that will never be what the media tells us, ’cause if women didn’t hate the way they looked, who would support the cosmetic surgery and diet industires? Wouldn’t do to hurt the economy.